Elements- Observation, Experience and Love

I turned 23 last year. 23 years of life and 23 years of experiences. I grew up knowing I wanted to be in the entertainment business. I went from wanting to be a musician to an author to finally what I call myself- A storyteller.

I read somewhere that there are three inspirations to an artist- Experience, Observation and Love. Everything we write or create comes, not as a part of our imagination but a fragment of convoluted and manipulated version of the three inspirations.

I write this as a part of the rare occasions of a combination of the three inspirations, or as I like to call it- My observations and experiences with love.

Observation- A few months back a close friend of mine started dating a girl. I didn't know the girl very well, but I knew my friend. Often in life we reach a point where we feel emptied out. We feel the need to grab everything around us tightly because we feel we are gonna run out of them soon. We feel this is the best we have in life, and if we don't hold on to this, we might never have anything like this again. We pick something not because of love, but fear. I thought my friend had reached that point.

Experience- The other day, I was having a conversation with another friend of mine. She claims to be one of the ‘practical’ people in life. She told me love doesn't happen, we choose it. We see the right and wrong in a person and we choose to be with them. I believe in the exact opposite. We don't choose love. Love just happens. In the moments you enjoy the laughter, you are lost in the conversation while the whole world walks by, and when you are suddenly blinded to everyone around you, it just happens. When you choose someone, you choose a reason. And it will all fall apart, when either your reason changes or your expectations. Love, like sleep, strikes you without you realising it. You are unconscious but you're comfortable.

I could never choose someone, not until now that is.

Love-  My last relationship was almost four years back. I haven't been with anyone after that. Never felt strongly about someone. When you truly love someone, they leave a huge part of them in your life. They determine the kind of person you turn out to be in life. For however badly things ended with them, you will always have a soft corner for them. You will always have a little hope that things would somehow magically work out between you. We choose to stay because of hope. Hope and desperation.

So what does an insomniac like me do? Hope for sleep to strike me or choose to take a pill out of desperation and fall asleep?